Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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