btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
