that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize