Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
