Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
