I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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