i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
