Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
