I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
