the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
