we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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