Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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