Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
