Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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