idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
