Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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