New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
