shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
