i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
