Quick, to the slutcave!
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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