Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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