That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
