Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Boobs speak an international language.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
