I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
