It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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