Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize