I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
