She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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