Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
