That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize