I wish I could teleport
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
