Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
