Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
