o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
