question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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