i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
