I cannot find my penis.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
