but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
