Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
