i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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