Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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