Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
