i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
