Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
