I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
