I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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