who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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