I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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