I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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