does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Randomize
