Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
