Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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