Whod you bang
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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