he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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