Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize