dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
