If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
