you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
BRING THE BAGELS
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
we should paint friendship bongs
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
