New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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