They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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