Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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