I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
