here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sorry my hands just texted you
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize