All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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