just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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