i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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